


Set Sail and Fly

by misura



Category: Justice League (2017)
Genre: Idiots in Love, M/M, Off-Screen Tentacle Sex, Pregnant Clark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 14:17:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18573208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: In which Clark saves a species of octopi from extinction and Bruce builds an aquarium.





	Set Sail and Fly

**Author's Note:**

  * For [yodaisgreat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yodaisgreat/gifts).



When Bruce's phone rings in the middle of the night, it's pretty much a given that it's bad news.

"Bruce? Hi."

When Bruce's phone rings in the middle of the night because Clark, better known as Superman, has apparently run into a problem he can't solve by himself, it's really, seriously bad news. Probably.

Thing is, Clark doesn't really _sound_ like he's about to deliver bad, so-the-world's-going-to-end-in-two-days-unless-we-do-something kind of news. If this were anyone else, Bruce'd assume he called at a bad moment, interrupting something most people don't want interrupted.

Since Clark was the one to call him, Bruce figures he's imagining things.

"Bruce?" Clark asks - and yeah, it's definitely 100% Bruce's dirty mind that insists on Clark sounding like he's in the middle of something. Just because Clark's doing a bit of heavy breathing, that doesn't mean -

"Uh," Bruce says. "Hi. Yeah. I'm here. What do you need?"

In Happy Fantasy Dream Land, Clark says, _"You,"_ and proceeds to show up in Bruce's bedroom in under ten seconds flat.

In the miserable reality that is Bruce's world, Clark replies, "Um, do you own an aquarium?"

 

Bruce doesn't really understand what's going on. On the other hand, if Clark wants an aquarium, Bruce will consider it an honor and a pleasure to get him one. Or two, if Clark wants a spare. And if not, Bruce will still make sure to get the best, biggest, highest quality aquarium he can get. It's what friends do, and he and Clark are definitely friends.

He starts making a few inquiries - or rather: he asks Alfred to make a few inquiries, and Alfred gives him a long-suffering look and leaves Bruce to his brooding.

Clark shows up shortly after, which is probably a good thing.

"Look, I'm working on the aquarium thing, all right?" Bruce says, feeling faintly guilty because he isn't, strictly speaking. "Just - maybe you could give me a few more details?"

Clark nods, looking happy and radiant and like he's been having some pretty great sex very recently, and Bruce should be ashamed of himself. "Sure. Want me to talk to Alfred?"

_"I want you to talk to me and tell me who this other guy or girl is so I can figure out if I've still got a shot,"_ Bruce imagines saying, but he is, in fact, a grown-up, so he nods instead, trying to look friendly and not at all consumed with a mix of curiosity and jealousy. (Well. Mostly jealousy. But curiosity sounds better and besides, he's not _not_ curious.)

 

Alfred refuses to spill the beans, quoting some professional standard or another that demands discretion in these matters. Bruce points out that last time he checked, Alfred was working for him, not for Clark, which gets him a pitying smile and a pat on the shoulder and no information whatsoever.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, so Bruce figures there's nothing for it but to talk to Clark.

Clark, as it turns out, is not in his room. According to the tracker Bruce has slipped into Clark's suit, he's somewhere over the Atlantic, which probably means someone's in trouble.

Bruce settles down to wait, because he's not so far gone that he'd risk someone's life just so he can talk to Clark, except that after half an hour, he's beginning to think that maybe he is that desperate - and anyway, if Clark's been there for over half an hour, surely the worst is over by now? Clark's probably just cleaning up, picking up some flotsam, delivering a lecture on safe sailing, that sort of thing.

Clark picks up on the first thing and says, "Bruce!" in a voice that's -

Bruce tries to think of a polite, neutral, friendly way to ask, _"Are you having sex right now?"_ without sounding like some sort of creepy stalker. He settles on, "Hey. I noticed you weren't in your room. Anything I should know about?"

"Uuuhhh," Clark says, and Bruce wants to close his eyes and unzip his pants and - yeah. Not a good idea. Very bad idea, in fact.

"Sorry, didn't quite catch that." Bruce's mouth feels a little dry.

"It's a - " Clark starts. "Uh. A favor. For Arthur."

_"Who's Arthur?"_ Bruce almost asks, before remembering that yes, there are in fact other people in the Justice League apart from him and Clark. Diana, for one. A guy who talks to fish, for another.

"Is he there right now?" Bruce asks, knowing that if the answer is 'yes', he's probably going to do or say something he'll regret later, with the benefit of hindsight.

"Noooo," Clark says.

Bruce tries to think of something clever to say that's not going to make things awkward. More awkward. "Listen," he says. "You're obviously in the middle of something right now. Why don't you give me a call when you're done? Or not. Not giving me a call's fine, too. Whatever you want."

 

"Look," Bruce tells a dolphin that seems to be ignoring him. "I need to talk to Arthur, all right? Can you tell him to contact me?" One of these days, Bruce is going to work up a phone that's really 100% waterproof ... and Arthur will still find a way for said phone to have an 'accident' the moment he doesn't feel like picking up. "It's important," he adds.

The dolphin doesn't look impressed, but then, it's a dolphin so who can tell what it thinks?

 

So of course after all that, Clark walks right into his office with a big smile that suggests nothing whatsoever is wrong.

"Bruce."

Bruce tries to look at Clark objectively. A little tired, maybe. A bit - Bruce frowns.

Clark's smile turns a bit sheepish. "It shows, huh?"

"Uh," Bruce says.

Clark shrugs. "You know the story. Last of its kind, no chance at offspring, unless someone got creative, and, well, Arthur figured I might help out, and I figured why not? It's more fun than I expected."

Bruce adds one and one together and arrives at - "Sorry, what?"

"I'm pregnant," Clark says.

"You - " Bruce does some more advanced calculus. "You let some sort of creature from the depths - " Bruce never imagined he might get jealous of a giant octopus or the like, and now here they are.

"Oh, it was really quite pleasant," Clark says, radiating earnestness, clearly under the impression that Bruce is only a bit horrified on his behalf, as opposed to sick with jealousy. "Arthur had a good talk with it beforehand, to ensure it was aware of my physical limitations and the like."

Bruce counts to ten very slowly. He also tries to close his eyes, but his imagination insists on showing him Clark, naked and eager and enthusiastic, ready to have sex for the sake of saving a species from extinction. "Clark," he says. "Listen."

Clark smiles at him, leaning forwards a bit. Bruce spots something that looks like a hickey. "Yes, Bruce?"

Bruce fantasizes about closing the distance between them and kissing Clark, slow and sweet, until Clark's forgotten all about his 'really quite pleasant' experiences with the sea monster.

Clark's smile gets a little bit brighter, as if he's reading Bruce's mind. Which he isn't.

"Uh. Alfred wanted some input on the plans for the aquarium," he says, adding, because he can't seem to help himself, "It's for the baby monster, I assume?"

Clark nods. "It seemed smart to give it a chance to grow up a bit first, before setting it loose. Don't want to have done all this for nothing, after all." Clark pats his stomach.

_"Why not? You seem to be enjoying yourself plenty,"_ Bruce manages not to ask. "Smart."

 

Three days later, Arthur shows up, dripping salt water all over Bruce's nice carpet.

"Heard you need some help getting your head on straight," Arthur says, helping himself to a cup of coffee. "And that you were acting more deranged than usual."

"I'm fine, thanks for asking," Bruce says. "You?"

Arthur grabs a chair and sits down. "Look, you tell something to a dolphin, you can't expect it to get everything right. You want smart, try a salmon. A mackerel. Sharks are good. In fact, try anything but a dolphin, and it's probably going to go fine."

Bruce decides not to pursue this line of conversation. "What's going on with Clark?"

Arthur shrugs. "Still oblivious to your crush, last time I checked. Why?"

"I do not - " Buce starts.

Arthur gives him a look.

Bruce groans.

Arthur grins. "Relax. He's weird, you're weird - match made in heaven. You'll get there."

"And until we do, there's a couple of sea monsters who'd simply love to get to know him better?"

"Don't knock it till you've tried it," Arthur says.

 

Clark gets big. Seriously big. Bruce tries not to worry, because Clark is Clark, but Alfred shows him a few blueprints of the aquarium they've been constructing and it's pretty damn huge.

"I do appreciate your doing all this, you know," Clark says. Clark is subathing, or resting, depending on how you look at it.

Bruce is trying to pretend he could be at work but chooses not to, as opposed to simply being unable to stay focused. "Don't mention it. What else are friends for?"

"Hm. You're a good friend, Bruce," Clark says, smiling at him.

Bruce feels like he's staring straight into the sun. "I just - I wish you'd talked to me. Before."

Clark chuckles. "As opposed to during? Sorry, I didn't want to leave you hanging if it was an emergency. I hope it wasn't too disconcerting. I tried to keep quiet."

Bruce's imagination immediately presents Bruce with an up, close and personal view of Clark 'trying to keep quiet' in the middle of sex. Sea monster sex, Bruce reminds himself, hoping that will help.

It doesn't.

He's just picturing Clark with tentacles slithering all over his body, legs pulled a little bit apart, giving one particularly thick and slick tentacle better access, to slide inside of him, slow and smooth.

Clark's head is thrown back, his hips stuttering as the tentacles find a rhythmn, working out how Clark likes it, leisurely and sweet at first, then fast and hard as Clark becomes lost to pleasure, to the sensation of being touched all over.

"You all right?" Clark asks. "You look a little ... hot. Too much sun?"

Bruce forces himself to laugh a little and shake his head. "Sorry. Guess I should get out more."

"Well, it wouldn't hurt," Clark says. "I could take you."

_"Please do,"_ Bruce doesn't say, because he knows very well Clark didn't mean it like that.

Clark sighs. "I'm glad you're here, Bruce. Truly. Your presence, your friendship is important to me."

"Thanks," Bruce says, not quite trusting himself to say more.

Clark chuckles. "You really do have a problem talking about your feelings, don't you? Mind, in this particular case, I might not be in much of a position to throw stones. Still."

"I hate fish," Bruce says. "How's that for talking about my feelings?"

Clark looks at him, head cocked, like he's trying to see right through Bruce. "Why?"

"Do I need a reason?" Bruce shrugs. "They're cold and wet and they have lousy memories. Arthur wants them, he can have them. Good riddance, as far as I'm concerned."

"Ah," Clark says.

"No offense to your new boyfriend, fuckfish, whatever," Bruce adds, mostly to be polite.

Clark kisses him, sudden and sweet, and Bruce stumbles back two steps before he remembers there's a big aquarium behind him. Clark probably wouldn't let him drown, but it would be kind of embarrassing to fall in. "Actually, this little fellow here notwithstanding, I'm pretty sure I'm still single," Clark says.

"Not if you go around kissing people like that, you're not," Bruce says.

"Not people." Clark grins. "Just you. And just this once."

So Bruce kisses him again, to seal the deal or whatever, and Clark kisses him back, and next thing Bruce knows, they're both in the water, soaked to the bone, but they're also still kissing to Bruce decides it's not really important right now.


End file.
